.can.you.ever.be.sure.?

Is it really ever possible to know exactly what you want? our wants and needs change as time goes on. it changes with new people, new influences. so can we ever really be sure of anything?

when it comes to people how can you be sure you know what you want? do you exhaust yourself looking for the "perfect" person? Do you take different pieces of someone and settle? or do you take different pieces from a variety of members so you get everything? Does that even work? is it even possible? where is the threshold? when does that point come when you realize this works or doesn't? you settle, chase, or die in silence trying? aren't there enough choices in life as is? and when you realize you've made the wrong choice, it makes you want to never put yourself in that situation again. never again will you want to feel vulnerable, sad, low, disgusted, in repair.... and just wrong.

i think the problem is people change. no decision you make is entirely concocted in your head. somewhere along life there is something or someone you find interesting and it plants a seed. overtime you think that original idea is your own but its really not. we all start off as a blank canvas...when we are born, but even that doesn't last long. you pick up pieces of yourself from those around you. the routine of the way you get dressed in the morning is probably set by your mother or nanny. your speech, body language, pet peeves, are all pieces that have been adapted but were not originally your own. So if this is the case, how can we ever be sure we know what we want?

this is why people have breakdowns in life. all this pressure to know what you want and go after it is stressful. not only the chase but that possibility of failure. and then comes the sudden realization that your wants have changed again and we are back at ground zero trying to sort out our life. at this point do we settle for what we know? the chase can go on forever and i don't think everyone is willing to follow that never ending path. we become these flightless birds, a sad story to look at.

there seems to be such a push to be original, don't stay within the lines. be creative. these are also the adjectives that describe schizophrenics and what some may call "weird kids." The world is giving out too many mixed messages. 

If you know me, you know that everything I write about usually comes from an experience. Whether it be from watching something on the telly, or having a fight with someone, or even walking through town. Yet I feel like these are the types of questions people are constantly asking themselves just won't admit to it out loud. All human beings fight. Its natural, whatever. I am happy to know that regardless of anything that happens, I am done with that search. I am happy to know that I won't have to put myself out there ever again with the possibility of heartbreak and humiliation. I am happy for this. But for all those who are in relationships, at some point you need to decide whether or not you will turn the other way or keep what you have. No one wants to be dragged alongside for years and then realize their partner isn't in it for the long haul. Please men, do not do that. (**ahemmm**) And for all those who have not yet found their other half, there are always cats. JK! Your time will come! And it always comes at a time when you least expect it! And I know you all just wanna say SHUT UP because I have my man, but this blessed union came out of the blue. So clam yourselves, enjoy that ice cream and stroll in the park :)