.living.in.a.world.of.contradicting.dreams.

When people are out of work there is always a moment of relief, tranquility, and peace. But there is only a fine line between relaxation and the anxiety of being homeless and poor. It's never a win-win situation, at least never in my case. I mean don't get me wrong, I love that I do not have to work everyday, especially after spending the day with rotten little monsters. But I think I've reached that point of slight insanity. My home is becoming a room with four walls that are inescapable. I do not know how people are home bodies because it is driving me NUTS! It changes my mood ten fold. I also think this is where the persistent headache is coming from. It also makes me feel like I should be out there making some moola so that when I do have days off I can go shopping or something, anything really. Although, being on a guaranteed list is fantastic. Guaranteed money is something spectacular. But it keeps me in this feeling of limbo. I am actually hoping to work tomorrow! God help me for I cannot take back those words!

Another contradicting dream is the realization that you cannot see everything you want to see in a given period of time. It sucks, it truly sucks. And the hand behind this broken dream.... money. Doesn't everyone just dream of a money tree? I mean, doesn't have to be large, as long as it keeps on producing those pieces of paper that allow you to have whatever you want. There is no ying & yang when it comes to that type of paper. At least, not in this world. No matter what it takes, I will see the world this year. Somehow. May not be in the most extravagant way, but these eyes will see wonderful things. Just you wait. And as soon as i see them, so will my camera, and then so will you :) 

Keep your eyes open to possibility even when it seems it has abandoned you forever.