.holding.the.prized.possession.

So many thoughts about to spew out of these fingers. First of all, have you seen the new edition of the crackberry family, the new torch. As a CANADIAN born and bread product why on earth is it not available in Canada first? WHY? This just further emphasizes the notion that Canadians are followers and slaves to new technology, when really, we are creating these magnificent pieces of machinery. Why should we have to wait for all these new things to be released in other countries before it comes to Canada where it was developed? The UK, as much as I adore my new home, had the torched released here first. JIM! Show some dam Canadian pride! Even the new blackberry 6 software is not yet released in Canada. Dam Shame. Balsili, I am disappointed. It looks like a great phone, minus the slide keyboard, kiiiiinda gay. How about we make the current Bold 9700 touch, now thats a great idea!

Yellow symbolizes wisdom. Yellow means joy and happiness. People of high intellect favor yellow. Yellow daffodils are a symbol of unrequited love. Sunday's color is yellow-gold. There is a yellow carrier bag that is frequently seen in the hands of many roaming around b'ham. Like little bags of sunshine. They seem to portray feelings of happiness, elegance, and prosperity... aka rich ass mother fukkas! SELFRIDGES is one of the most amazing retail companies I have ever seen. They carry everything from jelly-bellys (2 quid for 100grams!) to pour your own liquor, superdry to burberry and prada. It seems the higher you go, the more expensive the items become. By the time you reach the 4th floor, you can find immaculate shoes by Jimmy Choo and Michael Kors. There is a sense of pride when holding a Selfridges bag, a feeling of, yeah I can afford something in there! I had that feeling a few days ago when I made my first purchase at Selfriges. Mind you it was on the first floor with a giant bull made out of jelly-bellys and a krispy kreme shop! I purchased a book. A type of cooking book, one that you write in your own recipes (mike & I are starting something new! Writing down all the good meals we made this year). Selfridges is a place where things are shinny and new, cool and creative, and everything you could want. Most definitely one of my new favourite stores! (when I have money that is!) It is the mecca of designer and label whores, it is the creme de la creme of department stores, and it is the one store that hand selects who they wish to display. Only the best.

 I admit. I am a must have the 'it' item girl. As impractical as the torch may be, I still want it. And there will me many, many more purchases and yellow bags coming home with me this year. Just testing the water :)

[revise.restyle.adapt]

Change is inevitable. You can either choose to accept this notion and move with the wind, or you can ignore this fact and be stuck in limbo. Much like the city I have come to call home, it has changed only to better itself. The 'City of 1000 trades' has transformed itself, restyled, and revised to better fit in with modern times. Walking through the city you can see a little bit of old mixed in with something new and modern. It gives B'ham a special look and feel. I feel like I've almost become a person of a 1000 trades - one must be a chef, a house keeper, a tourist, a friend, a girlfriend, a teacher, a disciplinary, and the list goes on. It is not easy starting somewhere new, starting with nothing. You must adapt and change to what is around you. You must restyle your look so you don't look completely 100% Canadian! One thing I cannot hide, is my perfect Canadian accent, which surprises me everyday when people ask if I am American! Are you kidding! Not a day goes by I am not asked if I am American! As good as change can be, its nice to keep pieces of who you are. Little pieces that make you who you are, or pieces that a give a place its character. A little reminder of where you came from. In the case of this new home, nothing can mask the beautiful architecture of some of the buildings in b'ham, such as Victoria Square.

Birmingham 2010

Speaking of North America - the tradition of THANKSGIVING was celebrated in b'ham last night! It was lovely! The cold weather could not stop us from having a magnificent feast! All the Canadians and Aussies got together and enjoyed a beautifully cooked turkey, with marvelous sides to go with! Turkey-itis hit me in the head like a pile of bricks! Needless to say I had a great sleep :) Once I get a hold of some photos they will be posted! I am thankful for the wonderful new family of friends that have welcomed mike and I here in this new city. Thankful for wonderful family on all sides who have supported our decision to come out here for a first hand experience. And last but not least, thankful for man who turns my world upside down everyday. You always put me ahead of anything you need, and always ensure I am comfortable and happy. I know this has been a rough beginning but I am happy I am here with you and nonother. <3

* Enjoy what comes to you. Embrace all the familiar and happy faces. Change is good, and in this case, can make you better. Change can make you stronger. It will make you think on your feet, make you do things out of your ordinary, it can make you feel like a new person. Hopefully, a better one.
 

.the.musical.tune.in.this.heart.

Song  |sô ng |

A song can do so much for one person. It can sooth someones pain, it can tell someone just how much they mean to them, it can help you drift into a sweet dreamland. This particular song is very. very dear to me. More like this particular version. It is the song that heals, it is the lullaby to ease my restless nights, it is the song that my one and only sings to me. You are my world, you are crippling happiness, you are the one I share this crazy life with. You are the glass that holds my wine: you keep me from falling, you make me tipsy with happiness, you are the one I come to in times of stress and the one to celebrate new found happiness. If there's one thing I can tell you that I know to be true, never-ever under estimate the power of music. Regardless of who is singing or playing, music can do many things for you, for your soul, for your health, for your overall happiness. I am just lucky to have both mixed into one :D

Check out this version of Madman by Thrice - Madman 

Our course is coarsely plotted
On a map of shoddy dreams,
But hindsight will reveal
Time's moving faster than it seems.
Maybe I'm just selfish,
I've got nothing left to give.
I'm still a foolish boy,
I've got a lifetime left to live,

And I was swinging like a madman,
Not quite sure of what I felt,
And I might never understand
Exactly what it was I'd held,
And now I watch the sun descending
From the weathered gravel roof,
And I recall the sky once told me
That all lies lead to the truth.

So I'll look the other way,
And I'll turn a deafened ear,
And I'll talk of distant lands,
Pretend I was never here.

Reality beads on my skin
Like a slicker in the rain,
But now I feel it soaking in
And I begin to feel the pain.
I fight the urge to run to you,
This is how it has to be.
We've gotta step away right now,
We're just too close to see,
 

And I was swinging like a madman,
Not quite sure of what I felt,
And I might never understand
Exactly what it was I'd held,
And now I watch the sun descending
From the weathered gravel roof,
And I recall the sky once told me
That all lies lead to the truth.

So I'll look the other way,
And I'll turn a deafened ear,
And I'll talk of distant lands,
Pretend I was never here,
And I'll look the other way,
And I'll turn a deafened ear,
And I'll talk distant lands,
Pretend I was never here

.living.in.a.world.of.contradicting.dreams.

When people are out of work there is always a moment of relief, tranquility, and peace. But there is only a fine line between relaxation and the anxiety of being homeless and poor. It's never a win-win situation, at least never in my case. I mean don't get me wrong, I love that I do not have to work everyday, especially after spending the day with rotten little monsters. But I think I've reached that point of slight insanity. My home is becoming a room with four walls that are inescapable. I do not know how people are home bodies because it is driving me NUTS! It changes my mood ten fold. I also think this is where the persistent headache is coming from. It also makes me feel like I should be out there making some moola so that when I do have days off I can go shopping or something, anything really. Although, being on a guaranteed list is fantastic. Guaranteed money is something spectacular. But it keeps me in this feeling of limbo. I am actually hoping to work tomorrow! God help me for I cannot take back those words!

Another contradicting dream is the realization that you cannot see everything you want to see in a given period of time. It sucks, it truly sucks. And the hand behind this broken dream.... money. Doesn't everyone just dream of a money tree? I mean, doesn't have to be large, as long as it keeps on producing those pieces of paper that allow you to have whatever you want. There is no ying & yang when it comes to that type of paper. At least, not in this world. No matter what it takes, I will see the world this year. Somehow. May not be in the most extravagant way, but these eyes will see wonderful things. Just you wait. And as soon as i see them, so will my camera, and then so will you :) 

Keep your eyes open to possibility even when it seems it has abandoned you forever.

.working.lady.=.stresshead.

I now fully understand why teachers quit and why every classroom has a T.A. to help. These children are MONSTERS. Absolute uncontrollable monsters. Disrespectful beyond belief. BUT then again, while I was on placement last year a young teacher who had also ventured out to England right after finishing school told me, "Your going to want to kill those kids. Your going to think your unqualified and you want to quit. But remember you ARE a first year teacher. It is going to be the first time you are alone in a room with kids. It will seeeeem difficult, but regardless of where you are, you are going to feel the stress of being a new teacher." BEST advice so far, but its SO hard to remember that. I can't even explain how horrible they were. Year 5 = worst class ever. I was yelling at the top of my lungs, so loud I thought I'd loose my voice for a week. But they don't give a fuck. Thank god for only being a supply. Hopefully I'll never have to see those rotten children again! Flip side of things, yesterday I had 2 really great classes :) 


Recently, I have come to a sad, sad realization. There just is not enough money this year to see everything I want to see. Whom ever says they can see the world on nothing, please, tell me your ways. Because right now it's slightly killing my soul :( Another absolute heart stabber is the shopping, or lack/restrained shopping that is happening. For all those who do know me, know that this is one of the worst feelings to me! Does NOT help that everything is really cheap! UGH. 


I feel as though life is almost moving too fast. Even though i JUST started working, I feel like October break is coming soon and I don't have the money to go somewhere big. Such a sad feeling. Today is yet another gloomy England day, raining as if God is putting us through the next flood with no clear skys ahead. boo. 

One of the great pluses to living in the UK is all the AMAZING photos I get to take. My brother would absolutely love it here! So much to see and do. Then again, you would think I'd never get bored. Oh but thats where your mistaken. Very bored sometimes, especially on days like today where you want to go out, but you don't want to get wet. It's just not a winning situation lol. I'm in a somewhat scatter brain mode right now, so I'll end this rant with a see-you-later-alligator :D